Updated: Jul 1, 2020
I’m actually having one of those weeks where the ‘go’ part of this model is difficult. Why? First of all, migraines. Migraines make for lousy, unproductive days. As those of you who are fellow migraine sufferers well know, bad days range from I can’t get out of bed, please pass the bucket, to okay, the meds helped, but now my head feels like a block of wood and critical thinking is out of the question. That’s one of the reasons migraines make an appearance in the Boundary Waters Search and Rescue saga. They add an element of realism to the story, in that no one has good days all the time. People cope with upheavals in their emotional well being as well as their physical well being. This is life.
Speaking of physical and emotional well-being, this week as also been difficult because of my deep love for my friends. Most weeks that love between friends brings me only joy, but when something painful happens in the life of a friend, I hurt too. I spend a lot of time before the throne of God on that friend’s behalf, split evenly between asking God ‘why’ and praying for healing. As you can all well imagine, there is a lot of oppression, hurt and even anger when someone I love is on the wrong end of the ‘that really stinks’ stick. Under these circumstances, it is difficult for me to immerse myself in my fictional world when there is such need in my real world. Yet, this, too, is part of both of my worlds because when we choose to love, we expose ourselves to hurt and loss as we stand in the gap and battle for those we love.
Because we live in a world governed by time and because our physical beings are mortal this side of Heaven, most love is going to end in loss. When I look at my husband, my family and my friends, I don’t even want to think about this. In my fictional world, I struggle writing about the dark times when my characters go through periods of loss. I would much rather write about happy times, growing times, fun times. That’s the problem though. Dark times are the periods of greatest growth in life. God allows them for a reason and if I am to trust God, then I also have to trust that He knows what He’s doing. He loves my friends and my family more than I ever could. (You will see this theme repeated over and over in the Boundary Waters Search and Rescue saga.) Still, knowing the truth and trusting are challenging in the face of hurt and fear.
So, for me, this week has been more of a Ready, Set, Stall…
However, I've learned the key to weathering these funks. First of all, I don’t try to write or edit when I have a migraine. Instead I take the time to heal and treat it as a season of rest. Second, I know that prayer avails much, so I pray. I pray for my friend who’s hurting because Jehovah Rapha,our Master Physician, has this friend in His mighty hands. And, as an aside, He doesn’t want me to spend useless time prostrated under the load of fear and worry. I can serve both God and my friend better though active prayer, active helps and looking ahead with confidence, knowing that He’s in charge. Nothing can happen to a believer that God can’t work for good. (Romans 8:28) What a beautiful promise. Sometimes in the crucible of pain and worry, it is much easier to write about this than it is to live it. That doesn’t change the fact that it is truth. Faith isn’t always easy, but in the end, God is the one Who makes sense out of the senseless.
This actually wasn’t the post I had in mind for today, but it is what is in my heart right now. So, I will post this, pray, and return to my writing.
My heart is with anyone out there suffering through bad news or a loss today. My prayers are with you for peace and healing as you look to Jehovah Rapha.